Let me tell you a story. Few weeks ago I felt an irresistable desire to paint a White Peacock. I didn’t know why… I just felt I had to paint it.
White Peacock is the SYMBOL OF INTEGRITY.
It’s curious cause I’ve been very disconnected from my inner self for the last months, I felt confused, angry, anxious, full of doubts and out of balance and I denied trusting my voice…
What I considered a gift was becoming a spell. I didn’t want to paint anymore, cause I didn’t feel rewarded. I desired to get a normal job and have a stable paycheck every month.
I started to hate my inner voice. I was angry with my intuition and with God. Why the hell they made me quit my job? What was I thinking? How many artist have a good life? Not many! Why would I want to keep doing it? That’s the most insane, insecure, irrelevant and unnecessary profession ever! Who needs art?
In all that confusion and anger I’ve decided to ask for spiritual help. I was furious with myself and I wanted to heal that. I’ve met over Skype with an incredible lady. She teaches how to practice happy, whole-hearted life and how to find harmony inside you.
We’ve talked twice. It was mystical and full of magic. She talked about God, soul, feelings and thoughts. She showed me how to feel my soul and how to hear my voice.
For the next couple of weeks I started noticing little shifts in my state of mind. I’ve realised how unfair my anger was and how demanding I was for myself.
While I was deepening the connection with my inner divine part I felt increased harmony and freedom. All doubts, anger and anxiety started to melt and I was recovering the trust in myself. I’ve understood that all negativity comes from outside, I’ve learned how to disconnect from painful emotions by looking deep inside me. I’ve touched the purest love and peace which I’ve never experienced before. It was my inner divine part, the true me. I can’t believe I lived so long without being aware of my higher consciousness. I’ve heard about it but I’ve never felt it before.
Inside there’s always love and serenity. Who you are is perfect and the moment you’re in right now is perfect too.
You just need to look for that perfection inside. Don’t look outside and don’t listen to anyone. Listen to yourself.
So why White Peacock? I didn’t understand until I read what it symbolises:
‘White Peacock symbolizes the Divine self realized, purified and cleansed. White Peacock is aligned to the higher consciousness, and the greatest most benevolent outcomes. The breathtaking beauty of the White Peacocks tail radiates of a soft white glowing light, filtering all negativity, symbolizing the mind body and soul as it comes together as one splendid array of inner light. White Peacock represents the most beautiful time of your life, when you reach the point of embracing who you really are…
The Peacock loses and renews it’s beautiful feathers every year, symbolizing letting go of the past… letting go of all that no longer serves you… celebrating your spiritual awakening, you are moving forward with grace as your inner beauty shines through.’ /source/
I believe that what I paint is deeply related to who I am and what I am at a certain point of time. It’s an expression of my soul… Most of the time it’s unconscious…
I love to paint. And for the sake of that love I’ll do it forever.